the sausage and the cat

one day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past....the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the day was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. the moral or the story is.............the bigger the sausage....the wetter the pussy!

Disney Password

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long."Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

E-MAIL COMMANDMENTS

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before sendest it.Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE all CAPS.Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of email, especially from work.Thou shalt not use email for any illegal or unethical purpose.When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.And, the Golden Rule of email:That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.

what does the little computer call it's dad?

Data

3 nuns

there were 3 nuns in the church 2 were crying 1 was laughing the preist walked up 2 a crying 1 and said 'why are u crying' the nun said i killed some 1 ,the priest said go drink from the holy water so he went up 2 the 2nd crying nun and said why are u crying she said' i stole a car' and he told her to drink from the holy water 2 then went up 2 the laughing nun and said why are u laughing she said' i peed in the holy water'

Raking leaves

How did the blonde break her arm while she was raking leaves?She fell out of the tree.

Two Blondes

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?'' The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.'' At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME ?'